Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Ode to the Wingman

Ladies & Gent's, Perhaps the GREATEST commercial of all time.

I love YouTube.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Power 12: Thanksgiving Leftovers Edition

1.) Ohio State
2.) Southern Cal
3.) Florida
4.) Michigan
5.) LSU
6.) Wisconsin
7.) Oklahoma
8.) Rutgers
9.) Notre Dame
10.) Louisville
11.) Arkansas
12.) Auburn

Monday, November 20, 2006


I'm in Grove Hill, AL tonight. My mother was diagnosed several weeks ago with cancer, and today had her first dose of chemotherapy this afternoon at an oncology clinic in Mobile. I'm basically caring for two people this evening: my mother, and her husband, Herman, who is an invalid due to chronic arthritis. I'll be here for the week.

Tonight, my mother is just starting to feel the fatiguing effects of her chemotherapy treatment. She is tired, but too restless to sleep. Some medication from the nurse at the clinic is keeping her from being nauseous.

The gravity of the situation hasn't quite hit me, I'd say. Perhaps when mother's hair starts falling out, or if her health deteriorates even more, it will. However, everything just seems sort of normal now, just a little less convenient.

Speaking of cancers, it appears that one will be removed from the University of Alabama. Rumors are flying about the future of Mike Shula. I can't wait to see who will replace the apparent future Shula Steakhouse Co-Manager.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Power 12: Rivalry Weekend Edition

1.) Ohio State -- oh God, let there not be a re-match with Michigan.

there seems to be quite a bit of separation between the #1 team & the rest of the nation

2.) Southern Cal -- starting to play good football at the right time. And it could likely earn them a National Championship berth. They get Notre Dame, who they have beaten 4 years in a row & whose defense stinks, at home. Then if they beat UCLA, they're in like flynn.
3.) Arkansas -- I'd rank them over USC ... except for the tiny fact that the Trojans beat them earlier in the season ... soundly ... in Fayetteville.
4.) Florida -- the Gators will drop-kick the Seminoles this weekend.
5.) Michigan -- the Wolverines get 4 more quarters with the Buckeyes if (and ONLY if) each and every one of the above three teams loses in the next 2 weeks. Which is not out of the question, BTW ...
6.) Notre Dame -- lost to Michigan. Badly. How could anyone rank them above Michigan? Therefore, how could Notre Dame win a National Championship this season? They can't.
7.) LSU -- Wouldn't be surprised if they lay yet another egg in yet another big game ... this time, with Arkansas Friday.
8.) Texas
9.) Wisconsin
10.) Rutgers -- now Rutgers must learn to handle failure. They didn't handle success very well, forgetting to show up Saturday night against Cincy after the greatest victory in their school's history. Nevertheless, they beat Louisville, who beat WVU ... and will remain this high until the Mountaineers beat them.
11.) Louisville
12.) West Virginia

I will take this opportunity, also, to voice my displeasure for the leadership of the football program at the University of Alabama.

I will always have a great deal of respect for Mike Shula for coming to Alabama when few had the spine to come (much less stay ... FRAN). He faced handicaps with the installation of his offense, handicaps with recruiting, and ... well, handicaps. I'm not sure any school has had a four-year run like Alabama's has with such a lack in injury luck.

Nevertheless, it has become crystal clear to those who follow the program that Mike Shula does not resemble the tough, good-looking young coach his father was 40 years ago. Rather, Alabama's Shula resembles very much more his brother David, who failed miserably in his seasons at the helm of the Cincinnati Bengals.

Is it too harsh to say that Shula has failed miserably in his time at Alabama? After all, the Tide did win 10 games last season & finish ranked in the top-10. To see the true nature of the Shula Regime, one must look beyond that fact to see the truth in numbers.

  • 0-4 vs. arch-rival Auburn

  • 1-3 vs. arch-rival Tennessee

  • 0-4 vs. division rival LSU

  • 1-3 vs. division rival Arkansas

  • 2-8 in Alabama's last 10 SEC games

  • 0-19 when trailing entering the 4th quarter

These simply aren't numbers of a winner.

Alabama won 10 games last year because of it's defense. And that talent has graduated and is now thriving in the NFL. Demeco Ryans is a defense rookie of the year candidate. Mark Anderson is a sack machine for the Chicago Bears. Even Roman Harper was starting for the Saints before he blew his knee out. Anyone can look pretty good when they have more talent! Heck, even Mike DuBose won an SEC Championship at Alabama when he had Shaun Alexander at running back! Shula has won ONE game in which Alabama was not expected to win -- the 2005 Florida victory. And even after the fact, we came to learn that Florida was over-rated.

Mediocrity is accepted at other University's football programs. Not at Alabama. Alabama football coaches are expected to win. And despite the handicaps, Shula should have won more by now.

Mike Shula's brother David is now the Manager of his father Don's Shula Steakhouse in Miami, FL. Perhaps they could use a co-Manager?

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Power 12: Veteran's Day Edition

1.) Ohio State
2.) Michigan
3.) Arkansas
4.) Notre Dame
5.) Florida
6.) Southern Cal -- I know that the Trojans beat the #3 team on this list, but that was when Casey Dick & Darren McFadden were injured. The Hogs have improved; the Trojans have regressed. Arkansas would take them in a rematch.
7.) Rutgers
8.) LSU
9.) Texas
10.) Wisconsin
11.) Louisville
12.) West Virgnia -- I think that all three of the Big East Big Three could & would beat Auburn.

Sadly, I won't be able to watch next weekend's National Championship game. CBS will be airing the Iron Bowl at the same time ... a little game I like to call "The Greatest Rivalry in all of sports."

Thursday, November 09, 2006


Amazing game on ESPN tonight. I thought the Tennessee/LSU game was the best I would see all season after it ended Saturday. Louisville/Rutgers topped it.

Amazing how the Big East has turned out this season. Just seven days and, ohhhhh ... 4 hours ago, West Virginia was the best team in the conference. Louisville topped them, and now Louisville has been topped.

If Rutgers runs the table, why SHOULDN'T they play for the National Championship? They physically dominated the Cardinals in the trenches on both sides of the ball -- a Cardinals team widely touted to be "just as talented" as any of the big boys or any of the SEC teams. And Rutgers looked BETTER than them?

Rutgers & Ohio State share a common opponent: Illinois. The Buckeyes scrapped their way by the Fighting Illini by a single touchdown. The Scarlet Knights, however, won by a whopping 33.

If this were March, and we were talking basketball, we would LOVE and EMBRACE a team like this. This would be Cinderella! They would be Gonzaga or George Mason. We would be rooting for them all the way. But because it's college football, and elitist, we dismiss Rutgers because their NAME isn't as impressive as Florida, or Texas, or USC.

Rutgers still has some wood left to chop. But they have already beaten Pitt, a pretty decent team in their conference. They beat Louisville tonight. But their last game of the season is against West Virgnia. I can't WAIT to watch a team this good in the trenches face off against a spread rushing attack as good as the Mountaineers'.

Hey -- Big East football is exciting! Besides the SEC, tell me what conference is more impressive. The Big 11? Please! They look exactly the same -- a few elite teams at the top, and all the rest stink. The ACC? That conference is a mess. The Pac 10? Talk about a conference that doesn't play defense. The Big East belongs, people. And if Rutgers goes all the way, it would be outrageous to deny them a shot to be called the best team in college football.

Rutgers probably won't vault all the way to #3 in my own Power 12 early next week. But if they beat West Virgnia in their final game to finish undefeated, they will no doubt be #2. If Rutgers fails, then my next pick to face the winner of the National Championship Game (a.k.a. Ohio State vs. Michigan) in the BCS Championship Game (for whatever that is worth) is Texas. If the Buckeyes prevail, then why should Michigan get another shot? Why not let Texas get the 2nd chance against them? They had to face them early in the year with a first-year starting freshman quarterback. He won't be a freshman anymore. And Texas is one of the few schools this season who you can't point to and see improvement week-by-week. What an exciting showdown, right?

My next pick would be the winner of the SEC Championship (whether it's Auburn, Florida, or Arkansas). Next pick after that (if all the above have 2 losses by that time) is the winner of USC/Notre Dame (again, assuming one loss).

But go Rutgers. I'd love to see Cinderella make it to the ball.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

The Dem's Win

Stephen Colbert reflects on America's mandate

Well, I guess I'm going to have to call this thing ... for the Democrats.

WOO HOO! The people have spoken. An apparently they're tired of freedom. Don't get me wrong: I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed. I thought this country would last longer than 230 years. That's it, folks! America's over. At this point, we might as well just give it back to the (censored ... "Gosh Darn") Indians. Let's see how they deal with foreign enemies bent on their destruction.

Here's your cake, Terrorists. Here you go! Enjoy. MMmmmmmm. Tastes like "surrender."

Timmy, you might as well get those subtitles going. [Subtitles appear in Arabic] There ya go. Get used to these.

You know what really gets me here? You know what really gets me? Democrats didn't even win this thing; the Republicans lost it. They ran away from the President. "Hey, the ship's in trouble! Quick, let's drown the Captain!" We were THIS close to Jesus coming back! And you Republicans who turned your back on the President are going to wander in the desert for the next two years ... literally! Someone's gonna have to replace those troops in Iraq.

And don't think you're off the hook, voters. You're the ones who made this bed. Now you're the ones who are going to have to move over so a gay couple can sleep in it.

Tomorrow, you're all going to wake up in a brave new world. A world where the Constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones created in a stem-cell research lab created by homosexual doctors who sterilyze their instruments over burning American flags!

Where tax & spend Democrats take all your hard-earned money and use it to buy electric cars for National Public Radio and teach Evolution to illegal immigrants.

OHHH! And EVERYBODY'S HIGH! [Inhales immaginary doobie] WOOOO!!

Sadly, Colbert nearly quit, only to happily return by the end of the show with a renewed mission to take down this Democratic administration. Thank God.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Power 12: The Election Day Edition

1.) Ohio State
2.) Michigan
3.) Louisville
4.) Texas
5.) Auburn
6.) Florida
7.) Notre Dame
8.) Southern Cal
9.) LSU
10.) Wisconsin
11.) Arkansas
12.) West Virginia

I dogged the Cards. But I've gotta dish out the prop's now. They don't play an SEC schedule. But if they win out, I don't know how you can deny them an NC shot.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

The Harding Rap

Alright HU alum's. Are you ready for this?

Check out Kodak & D'Lee at PureVolume.com. Click on the song "It's Goin Down (Harding University)" and prepare to laugh your socks off.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Plausible Deniability Continued

In yet another example of shoe-urination named rain, Rev. Ted Haggard denies the allegations of an alleged former gay sex partner & drug dealer.

Of course he does. Bless his heart.

I find it difficult to accept & forgive the actions of a man who so blantantly insults the intelligence of his family, his church, and a nation. I mean come on people. This is worse than "I didn't inhale" or "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." Good grief.

Snarky? You're DADGUMMED RIGHT I am!

Perhaps I'm offended on a deeper level, though. As a minister, it is imperative for one to protect one's integrity at all costs. Of course, no minister is perfect. But I just can't imagine what answer Mr. Haggard will have for his Lord for bringing so much public shame and disgrace upon Christ's name.

For ministers, and all Christians of influence alike, this is a lesson to us. It's a lesson I wish we wouldn't have to be re-learning so often these days, but it is nevertheless a lesson: guard your integrity at all costs. Make every effort. Protect your integrity, not just for your sake, but for the sake of the Lord & the movement of His Gospel.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Back in with the Gilmores

I must be gay. Honestly. I am about to dedicate an entire blog entry to an episode of Gilmore Girls.

WARNING: You probably don't want to read this.

Anyway, I just watched the first episode of this season. They re-ran it last night & I Tivo'd it. WOW! I had complained about there being new producers & writers of this show, but I hadn't given them a chance from watching the first couple episodes. They really did the first episode justice.

Luke Danes
Luke Danes:
Our Man in the Clutch
I think the thing that I am happiest about is that they have made Luke back into a good guy. He's not a jerk anymore. And when he hung his heart out on the line for Lorelai when he apologized & confessed his undying love, we all fell back in love with the "old Luke" again. And when Lorelai crushed him with the news that she had slept with Christopher, the father of her daughter, he just turned, got in his truck, and drove off. And the best part was that I SAW THE WHOLE THING COMING. Not in a bad, awful unimaginative predictable kind of way. But in a good, warm, "They got it right!" predictable kind of way. It was a nice, "They got it right! They still have the characters right!" kind of moment. It's almost as if I was afraid I had lost some friends for good when the Palladino's left the show. (Wow, that makes it sound like I watch WAY too much TV. And, with Gilmore Girls, I probably do take this stuff way too seriously.) It was also a sinking feeling for Luke, though: "Poor guy always gets the bad end of these things."

And in the episode, Kirk drives Taylor's car into Luke's diner. Luke's diner. His pride & joy. The place he cherishes above all else. All of this sets up this great scene at the end of the show.

Lorelai Gilmore
The ever-charming, ever-gorgeous, and ever-neurotic Lorelai Gilmore
So, ok. Near the end of the show, there is this absolutely compelling, completely touching scene where Luke & Lorelai are both not at ease. Of course, the Sam Phillips "la-la" song is playing. (AHHHHH ... I just LOVE that song. So peaceful & tranquil ... yet, unsettled.) Lorelai is restless: tearing the bedspread off her bed, moving pillows. She's throwing pillows, she's putting pillows back -- she just can't quite find the right niche to settle into. And it's just like her life. In her life, she has never been able to stay settled. She can't find stable comfort in anyone's arms for very long. Whether it is Rory's old teacher from the first couple seasons, Luke, now Christopher, or any of her other boyfriends, she cannot stay comfortable. She is unsettled. She can't find comfort. Poor Lorelai. So Sad.

At the same time, Luke is sitting on a chair in the middle of his destroyed & cluttered restaurant as we peer in through the big hole in the side of the place. He sits there. Still. People walking by on the street, and he just sits there with his arms folded in his big empty, cluttered restaurant with the hole in the wall. It symbolizes the big hole in his heart, and the emptiness & clutter that Lorelai has wrought with her whirlwind wares. There is even a broom next to him. He's not ready to clean up. He's not ready to pick up the pieces. He's just sitting there, in stillness & in shock: heart broken wide open. Poor Luke. So Sad.

Anyways ... GREAT art. Well-written, well-produced art. And I know it's Gilmore Girls, but folks, it is still an awesome show.