Everybody Doesn't Need To Be a Doctor

I think Rubel Shelly had it right when he first said that our churches should not be country clubs -- they are to be battleships and hospitals. There is especially a contrast with that last image. I was a part of a young adults Bible discussion on Tuesday where we discussed Rob Bell's first Nooma video on "Rain." In a country club church sub-culture, we bottle up our hurt & pretend it doesn't exist -- that everything in our lives is "good" or "fine." But in a hospital church sub-culture, we deal with our hurts.

That said, there can be something reckless & painful about a church hospital sub-culture if we're not careful.

I have some friends in ministry named Carlos & Gina. They're a married couple, and Carlos is a youth minister. When my Mom died, Carlos & Gina went to extraordinary lengths to show love and compassion to myself and my sister. However, while Gina was trying to go the extra mile, my sister began to feel like her feelings were being invaded. I had to go have a conversation with Gina about 6-8 weeks ago about this issue -- to ask her to back off of Katie just a little bit -- and here's how I explained it to her:

You know, it's like if you've got this big wound right up underneath your shirt -- a sensitive area on your body. And, with everyone knowing about this wound, its like everyone you're around wants to pull up your shirt and say, "Well, let me check on this wound today. How're we doing?"

That can feel invasive.

You know, one of the things about hospitals that people really hate are how impersonal they can be. Doctors, nurses, and technicians can come in to treat a wound or to check whatever it is they have to check, but in treating the wound they forget about the person.

Ironically, as it were, Gina lost her mother just a few weeks ago to cancer. I haven't had much of a chance to talk with her, but I'd imagine that she's had a rough go of it. I've talked with her husband Carlos, who was there when I explained to Gina about Katie & about the analogy. I asked him if they understood now, and he said, "Bro... totally."

Carlos went on to tell me how Gina felt like she wanted to sneak into church a little late & duck out before the closing prayer so she wouldn't be overwhelmed. What does that say about church if when we're hurting that is one of the last places we want to be?

We don't all have to try to play doctor with hurting people. That's sort of what Job's friends were trying to do when they explained to him how he just needed to repent. They really had it right when they spent that first week with him in silence. We do well when we just focus on loving on hurting people -- calling them up (if only for a couple minutes to relieve their loneliness), bringing the occasional gift (if only a small token), or whatever we do to love those around us.

A few months ago, I already shared the wisdom of John Mark Hicks with you about "How to Comfort the Suffering." This is sort of an expansion of that last thought where he said "Don't Pry." Sometimes, there's something about constantly bringing up a hurtful issue that folks begin to feel like a project. And nobody wants to be a project.

If hurt people knew they were going to get more hugs & less questions when they came to church, I think they'd be there in a heartbeat. I think that's the kind of people we ought to be.

Price Wars in the Panhandle

I watched a news story the other night on the late local evening news about a couple of gas stations that got caught up in a price war. For the locals, the two competing gas stations are at the intersection of 390 and 389 (about a mile away from my church building as a matter of fact).

Apparently, the proprietor of the Texaco always sets his gas prices a penny cheaper than the Chevron across the street. And, on Monday, the folks over at Chevron had had about enough! So, over the course of Monday, both gas stations changed their prices ELEVEN times -- undercutting each other by a single penny. It was hilarious when a reporter from NBC affiliate WJHG inverviewed a Chevron cashier during the piece:

"It's been a gas war going on because he keeps trying to go a penny under us and we're just trying to prove a point that we can afford losses we're going to try to keep our customers, but why can't he just try to stay even with us, quit competing with us."

The two gas stations settled their dispute at $3.68 on Monday night -- about 15-to-20 cents below the local average.

As I drove to church tonight, I couldn't help but want to go out of my way to see what the prices were this evening.

Chevron: $3.81
  Texaco: $3.80

They showed them!

Should We Watch This?

Bill Maher has made a documentary called "Religulous" ...



And he sat down to talk about it with Larry King...



Bill Maher usually makes me so angry. And when it comes down to it, I'm not sure if I want to subject myself to his 2nd-gradish, bullying brand of "Ha Ha Ha! You're so Dumb" humor.

You should understand that Maher is an agnostic (or as Colbert calls them, "an atheist without balls") and hates religion. Not only does he hate religion, but he seems to really have it in for religious people. And he has taken that vitriol and tried to turn it into a Michael Moore- or Borat-type of money-making reservoir for himself.

I'm not an advocate for burying our collective heads in the sand. But I also don't think that this is a guy that deserves my money or my attention. This film will no doubt spark a lot of controversy when the release date nears, and I imagine Maher will gleefully hope that that translates into a boomer box office return. I just don't think that I'll be one of the ones purchasing a ticket or a DVD.

Spiritual Growth Workshop

Every two years, Christians from all over Florida (and a couple other places) gather in Orlando, FL in July for a weekend seminar called "The Spiritual Growth Workshop." I was able to attend this year, and here are some of my reflections...

• As I was driving down on Thursday, it hit me that it was exactly eight years ago at this conference that I began to receive my call to full-time ministry. Some people get uncomfortable talking about a call, and I understand that; I'm just not shy about it. I don't think I'm extra spiritual, though, because I have a moment to point toward. I read a book in undergrad about personality type & religious leadership, and the book told me that my personality type (INFJ) tends to experience "a call" to ministry very strongly.

(However, I do think I am extra spiritual because of my personality type. That same book proclaimed that Jesus was probably an E- or INFJ. So, basically, I'm a lot like God)

SGW 2000 happened after my freshman year at Florida. I was majoring in Chemical Engineering. I had excelled chemistry & math in high school (and hated liberal arts stuff), but I was beginning to grow disinterested in those subjects. I was really beginning to thrive in my faith, and even remember thinking about taking a possible future role in church leadership seriously. It occurred to me that I might be a future Elder or Deacon in the church, and if that were going to happen I ought to take my faith more seriously. So I was doing a lot of reading and searching, and exploring the spiritual disciplines.

The minister of my home congregation had tried to put a bug in my ear a couple of times before about ministry. In a very flattering way he would say, "Boy, Philip, I think you've got a lot to offer, and I'd really like to see you become a minister." When I ran into him at this workshop 8 years ago, he couldn't help but do it again. I remember replying that I had been thinking about being an Elder or Deacon one day. A few moments later, his friend Wayne Kilpatrick (a regular speaker at SGW who I had just listened to) passed by and he introduced me saying, "Wayne, meet a future Elder or Deacon in the church." I can't remember the last time I'd been so flattered & embarrassed.

As I was wandering around the convention area of the hotel that afternoon, looking at the book exhibits & fraternizing with others off and on, an uncomfortably direct question hit my head: "What's stopping you from pursuing a life of full-time ministry?" Having just come out of a serious romantic relationship, and feeling relatively untied-down, the simple one-word answer was even more unsettling: "Nothing."

I remember feeling very intimidated & shaken when worship began before the evening keynote session. I was sitting with my friend Kristen and her Mom, and Kristen noticed that something was off with me. I imagine that I looked like I had seen a ghost. She asked if I was okay, and I told her I'd talk about it later.

And we did. She gave me some great advice: take a few months and stew on it. She said that if it was a whim it would settle down, but that if it was a real yearning then the desire would grow even more. After a couple months of careful consideration, I decided that I would transfer to Harding the following fall. And that was that!

• So, I brought warm feelings down to central Florida with me. Instead of catching the Thursday evening keynote, I spent that afternoon and evening with Kristen & her husband Justin in Gainesville. They are fantastic people -- Kingdom servants of the highest order. We chit-chatted about a host of things, and our old campus minister Donny D. came over for about an hour and we engaged in our old pastime: SPADES! I can't explain how much that card game was a staple of my UF college experience. You just would have had to experience it to understand. Let's just say... lots of late nights, with lots of store-brand Mountain Dew, and lots of goldfish crackers, and WWF wrestling was involved with all of that somehow as well.

• The speaker quality seemed a little down this year. Other than Randy Harris (who really did just a marvelous job on content, even if he recycled a bunch of old jokes I'd already heard -- I am a sermon hound, however, so I may be the only one who caught the repitition), Randy Lowry (new Lipscomb Prez), and Wayne Kilpatrick, there wasn't really anyone else I enjoyed. There was this especially poor speaker named Matthew Dabbs. I hope they never invite him back.

• I typed that last part with my tongue firmly pressed in my cheek. The author of Kingdom Living is one of my "best good friends," and it was so much fun to see him get an opportunity to speak. I already told him this, and he probably recognized it, but I just sat through his session with a big, goofy grin on my face. Matt has a special mind, and it was encouraging to me that he was given a platform to speak. He did a great job talking about the Kingdom of God out of the Gospel of Mark.

• Another fellow minister that I enjoyed running into this weekend was Damien Barber. Damien's Mom Janice and my Mom got to be best buddies last year when they met at radiation clinic everyday (that's a picture of my Mom on the left in her profile picture). And it just so happened that both of their sons were, as my Mom would say, "Church of Christ ministers."

Mama loved Janice. Janice had never been to the beach, so this time last year she invited Janice and her family down to Panama City Beach for a week. They rented a 3-bedroom condo, and Mom took care of the bill. It dove-tailed with Damien & his new wife's honeymoon, so they stayed there for part of the week as well.

Mom *loved* doing stuff like that. She called it "Playing Santa Claus." Paul called it "being a cheerful giver." It comforts me that right before that Paul says that God loves those kinds of folks.

Damien gave me the news that his Mom is in remission. Praise God for that!

• You know, sometimes -- maybe even a lot of times -- the business side of Kingdom work can be awkwardly incongruent with Kingdom values. Matt & I spoke about a couple of situations like that over lunch Friday -- ungodly Elders, or ungodly ministers, or awkward leadership situations.

Its even sort of funny how selfish ambition can get caught up into a profession where you would expect the greatest leaders to be the most humble. There's a sense in which a conference-type atmosphere is a showcase for your own ministry skills: one's ability to speak, or to "work a room," or network with brotherhood power-brokers, or whatever.

I think I'd be dishonest if I said I didn't struggle with that. There's a part of me that feels like I have a word or two to share with that kind of an audience. And when I hear a speaker not quite deliver -- as I witnessed in a few occasions this weekend -- Satan can be suggestive in urging me to feed that little pride monster inside.

I think a great counter to selfish ambition, however, is spending yourself in encouragement. Rather than spending the weekend sulking over insulted pride, I chose to focus on building up others around me. There's something about "playing Barnabas" that heads off selfish ambition completely.

• Its good to receive that kind of encouragement, as well. At one of the final sessions I went to, I ran into an old UF buddy named Scott. You'd have to know Scott to appreciate this, but he looks JUST LIKE "The Rock." He can even do that thing with his eyebrow. One of the first things Scott said to me was, "When are you speaking?" I told him I wasn't, and he said, "Man, they need to get you on the roster. You should be speaking at this thing."

Scott is a great encourager. I remembered that I spent some of my last months in the campus ministry at UF teaching a Wednesday night Bible class, and Scott always had some of the most encouraging comments for me each night.

Scott introduced me to his new wife, and said, "This is Phil... he was in the campus ministry... '98-'02, right?" I had to correct him and say, "Nope -- '99-'01. I was there just for two years." Scott said, "Oh. Well, you just made a big impact."

Thanks, Scott ;)

Top Five Friday... Belated

I don't really have special blog days. But my old buddy Matt does. And he invited folks to post their top 5 vacation spots. Here are mine...

1.) Boston, Mass.

Having been to Fenway, I just feel like I gotta get back there more often somehow. I think I could break into "There's a Stirring" about that place. I enjoyed it that deeply.

2.) Tuscaloosa, AL

You're probably catching the sports theme here...

3.) Central Florida area

Was just there. Spent Thursday night in G-ville with JP & Kristen. And then Friday & Saturday in O-town at the Spiritual Growth Workshop seeing bunches of other G-ville & Tampa/St. Pete folk. Lots of loved ones there...

4.) Washington, D.C.

Didn't get to see enough when I was there last month. SO much to do, and so much of it is free (if you don't count the whole "we pay taxes" part)

5.) Pine Mountain, GA

About an hour south of Atlanta, there's this cool little place called "Callaway Gardens." You oughta check it out.

I Would Do Anything For Love...

... but I won't do that.

The Wisdom of Michael Scott

This is the quote of the day on my daily tear-away calendar of quotes from "The Office." I love this calendar. I get to start every day of 2008 with a good laugh. It's awesome.

Did General Patton actually fight in World War II? No, he delegated the fighting to soldiers after telling them what to do... I like to be in the trenches. But I still have to tell other people what to do... "Lead that battalion over there." "You guys, jump on those grenades and save a village." That's just good management.
-Michael