Thursday, March 10, 2005

Fighting Ego

As I reflect on these bloggings thus far, I continue to question myself. Each day, I check to see if anyone has made comments about these posts ... to see if anyone has noticed me yet. And so I can't seem to put down this idea that I created this all out of selfishness and pride. I struggle over whether to make comments on other blogs that are highly read, just so that others will come and check me out. How vain.

Perhaps I'll keep these reflections just for me, to come back to one day and chuckle over. Perhaps I'll keep these reflections for a future love, a fiance/wife or a son, whom I'll share with as a token of sharing who I am today with them. Perhaps I will decide to open up this blog to outside consumption, though at this point I hope not. One thing I don't need right now is inflation of my own ego. Sort of like praying in your closet, I think I'll reflect in my own closet. Part of me doesn't understand the whole "public diary" thing, anyway.

It is good for me to reflect in private. We'll keep this private to keep it meaningful. We'll share it with those with whom we share intimacy.

No comments: