The War on Christmas

With all the clashing over social values, especially "The War on Christmas" seemingly every holiday season, I find Stephen Colbert to be a refreshing source of perspective.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

The Word - XMas

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

"Because if there's one thing Jesus cared about, IT'S SEMANTICS."

The Markets and God

Genius

Colbert & His Heart of Stone

Can author Mitch Albom make Stephen Colbert cry? I love this clip. The best part starts at the 2:10 mark:

A Celluloid Saturday

It's a lazy Saturday. College football is over, and I'm not much of a hoops fan. And even though it's a perfect day for golf, my sinuses have me feeling yucky. So, so far, it's been a day for straightening up around the house & catching movies on cable. I saw Serendipity for the first time earlier. Cute flick. I'm not above taking in the occasional chick flick. Not bad. I like John Cusack.

On right now is A League of Their Own. Just saw the classic Tom Hanks "There's no crying in baseball" speech. What a great actor. Although his best roles were long ago. My top 5 favorite Hanks roles:

1.) Forrest Gump - Forrest Gump
2.) Jimmy Dugan - A League of Their Own
3.) Capt. John Miller - Saving Private Ryan
4.) Chuck Noland - Cast Away
5.) Joe Fox - You've Got Mail

He's gotta be among the elite actors of my lifetime.

Gotta go now. He's about to give the "Its the 'hard' that makes it great" speech.

Rick Warren on the Report

A fun interview of Pastor Rick Warren by my man Stephen Colbert:

Coming down the Pike...

I post this partly out of concern & partly for humor. I am flabbergasted at the implications for ministry in the future...

Twins Separated at Birth Wed & Divorce

From an article on MSNBC:

LONDON - Twins who were separated at birth got married without realizing they were brother and sister, a lawmaker said, urging more information be provided on birth certificates for adopted children.

A court annulled the British couple's union after they discovered their true relationship, Lord David Alton said.

[...]

"It involved the normal birth of twins who were separated at birth and adopted by separate parents.

"They were never told that they were twins," Alton said. "They met later in life and felt an inevitable attraction, and the judge had to deal with the consequences of the marriage that they entered into and all the issues of their separation."

How tragic! How do you even begin to deal with all the different feelings & emotions that would arise with such a revelation?

What would PRO-cousin-kissing reporter John Stossel say about this?? Courtesy of The Colbert Report:

Grin & Colbert it...

Ok, one final video of Stephen Colbert's 434-part series, "Better Know a District." Today, former candidate Rich Sexton, who unsuccessfully ran against incumbent & current Republican Representative of New Jersey's 3rd District, Jim Saxton.

Enjoy!

More Colbert

More of Colbert's 434-part series, "Better Know a District."

But first, here's a review of Stephen Colbert's book, I'm America (And So Can You!), by one of my favorite Protestant scholars, Ben Witherington III. I think I'm gonna go buy that book on impulse now.

Alright. Today, Congress-woman Eleanor Holmes Norton of the District of Columbia. FYI, she's allowed to participate in debates and fully participate in committees & vote in them, but she is not allowed to vote on actual bills & referendums when the House votes.

Enjoy!

Part 1


Part 2

Colbert Returns!

Get Ready, America!

My very favorite political pundit returns Monday, January 7th. Stephen Colbert is crossing the picket lines to resume filming new episodes the best television program in the history of the Milky Way Galaxy, The Colbert Report (both T's are silent). Just in time for the New Hampshire primaries! I'll have no 24 & no new visits to The Office. But at least I'll have my man Stephen back to tell me what to think about the world & its news. This Presidential campaign will be a lot more fun with him around again.

In honor of his return, I'll be posting my favorite Colbert videos this weekend. They each come from Colbert's 434-part series, "Better Know a District." Today, Congressman Robert Wexler of Florida's 19th District. Make sure you hear him tell Colbert what "fun things" he likes to do...

The Dem's Win

Stephen Colbert reflects on America's mandate

Well, I guess I'm going to have to call this thing ... for the Democrats.

WOO HOO! The people have spoken. An apparently they're tired of freedom. Don't get me wrong: I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed. I thought this country would last longer than 230 years. That's it, folks! America's over. At this point, we might as well just give it back to the (censored ... "Gosh Darn") Indians. Let's see how they deal with foreign enemies bent on their destruction.

Here's your cake, Terrorists. Here you go! Enjoy. MMmmmmmm. Tastes like "surrender."

Timmy, you might as well get those subtitles going. [Subtitles appear in Arabic] There ya go. Get used to these.

You know what really gets me here? You know what really gets me? Democrats didn't even win this thing; the Republicans lost it. They ran away from the President. "Hey, the ship's in trouble! Quick, let's drown the Captain!" We were THIS close to Jesus coming back! And you Republicans who turned your back on the President are going to wander in the desert for the next two years ... literally! Someone's gonna have to replace those troops in Iraq.

And don't think you're off the hook, voters. You're the ones who made this bed. Now you're the ones who are going to have to move over so a gay couple can sleep in it.

Tomorrow, you're all going to wake up in a brave new world. A world where the Constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones created in a stem-cell research lab created by homosexual doctors who sterilyze their instruments over burning American flags!

Where tax & spend Democrats take all your hard-earned money and use it to buy electric cars for National Public Radio and teach Evolution to illegal immigrants.

OHHH! And EVERYBODY'S HIGH! [Inhales immaginary doobie] WOOOO!!

Sadly, Colbert nearly quit, only to happily return by the end of the show with a renewed mission to take down this Democratic administration. Thank God.

Kissing Cousins

The following is a transcript of the opening segment from Wednesday's Colbert Report:

COURAGE. It's rare out there in the media-scape, but John Stossel's got it. This guy's got courage up the wazoo. And no government regulation is going to take it out of his wazoo. It is packed tight up there.

Never one to back away from a controversial subject, in his syndicated column this week, Stossel comes out strongly in favor of marrying one's cousin. He says, quote:

"It would be ridiculous [...] to prohibit middle-aged women from having children. It's equally wrong to prohibit cousins from marrying. There are risks and challenges in any marriage ..."

"Give me a break!"

Who hasn't been to a family reunion and brushed up against an attractive cousin? Maybe you're both reaching for the potato salad -- your hand wraps around her's on the handle of the serving spoon. She blushes, and looks up at you with those crystal blue eyes just beaming from beneath her visor with the little fan on it. You tighten your grip. Her lips part. Your heart races. She runs away, but you chase her into the shade of an ivy-tangled gazebo. She tells you that you can't, you shan't, you musn't. Just because you live in a state that bans marriage between cousins. DARN IT! This grim parade of sorrow called life!

Well, next time that happens, just tell her that John Stossel says it's OK. Thank you John Stossel. And Charlene, I hope you're listening -- there's nothing wrong with it! Call me!

The lesson, as always: Never trust a guy with a mustache. Just look at Rafael Palmeiro. Am I not right?

Do You Know Your Ten Commandments?

Tonight, on The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert interviewed Representative Lynn Westmoreland of Georgia's 8th Congressional District (which is wonderfully gerrymandered, by the way). Mr. Westmoreland is a Republican and a devout Evangelical Christian, and he co-sponsored a bill to have the 10 Commandments publicly displayed in the House of Representatives. When asked why, he stated that the 10 Commandments are a wonderful guide for people who are writing laws & that Congress should publicly recognize them. Then Stephen Colbert nailed him:

"Mr. Congressman, can you please recite the 10 Commandments."

Uh, ummmmm, excuse me?

"Yes, Mr. Congressman, all 10."

Congressman Westmoreland, proud Christian man who stands up for his faith, named about three of the ten, and none of them in order.

BTW, what is the etymology of the name "Westmoreland?" Manifest Destiny?

Truthiness

Currently Watching:
The Colbert Report
Pronounced:
Kole-bare Ruh-por
On:
Comedy Central


Simply put, this is the finest show on television today. It's a lampoon job of all the primetime political shows on the 3 cable news networks. He comes off as a dumb conservative apologist -- making points with the most absurd arguments imaginable. And I laugh out loud every time I watch. It's the perfect show a person of my political persuasion: a frustrated Republican who's hesitant to be a Democrat. My favorite question that he regularly asks liberals:

"George W. Bush: Great President? Or THE GREATEST President?"

And Stephen never likes facts. Facts get in the way of what we feel to be true, which can always remain the same. In fact, he says this is his favorite quality about George W. Bush. WMD's in Iraq? That's a fact that changed: there were, and then when we went in, there weren't. But should we have invaded Iraq? Yes, we all know Bush feels like overthrowing Saddam was the right thing to do. His word for this is truthiness. It's great stuff.

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Schilling & Santana have a whale of a pitching duel going on right now, as well. Scoreless through 5 innings. Bottom of the 5th just ended on a strike 'em out, throw 'em out double play. It's good to see Big Schill pitch so well, and good to see Varitek throw a runner out once in a while.

Speaking of which, it appears that this is the season where the deterioration of Tek's (actually, my favorite Varitek nickname is "Quadzilla") skills is starting to show. And there are 2 years left on his contract. So a year and a half ago, Varitek was the priority but Pedro was expendable & there is no way we could give him 4 years? Not looking too bright right now. However, I think the Sports Guy said it best about Pedro leaving Boston:

[After putting so much effort & money into courting Schilling the previous offseason you ...] tell your incumbent franchise pitcher, "Let's talk after next season when you're a free agent, maybe we can work something out." If you were Pedro, would you have taken the hometown discount to stay after that? Hell no. If anything, you probably would have signed somewhere else and been extra-motivated to stick it to them.

Which is pretty much what happened. Maybe Pedro needed somebody to kick him in the ass, much like when the Red Sox lowballed Clemens and he proceeded to embrace the rehabilitative power of steroi-- ... er, weight training, get himself into phenomenal shape, cut down from five helpings per meal to one and roll off consecutive Cy Young seasons in Canada. And maybe the inferior quality of the National League plays a bigger role than we realize; we've seen too many NL guys switch leagues and flounder, and too many AL guys switch leagues and thrive, and if you don't believe me, look at Josh Beckett's home run stats over the past few years compared to 2006.

I love that dig on Clemens. Plus, when you think that Pedro's frayed labrum could snap at any moment & his career would be over, how could you hand that guy 4 years? Still, it doesn't seem right to see him pitching those gems at Shea and not Fenway.

BTW, Santana appears unhittable tonight. 12 K's through 6 innings. Hopefully Big Papi or Manny will put one in the seats, because there's no way we're gonna string together more than 2 hits in one inning against this guy tonight.

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Ok, I just heard about a third job opportunity in three days a few hours ago. This one is in Miami. And yes, I do believe God is working. I love it when He does that. It's like He's saying, "Yep, I'm still here, just where I've been all along -- watching out for you." Thanks for that, Father.

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Posted on a couple buddy's blogs today. I sort of went back & forth for several days over whether I'd do it or not. It's not that I don't value old friends: I do. In fact, I feel like I used to do this to a fault, to the expense of not making new friends wherever I found myself. It's just that I value the private thinking out loud I can do in this forum, and I thought that letting others know that this blog exists might ruin that dynamic. But I've decided this space is still for me. This is my digest, and I'm not necessarily writing for others. But if others want to read, that's ok too, but I'm not writing for them. That's the one thing about blogs that has always struck me as a little disingenious & somewhat comical -- a diary that you put on-line & let other people read? But whatever, it's a good way to keep in touch, hash out issues, and other stuff. So if you wander in here, welcome.

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And of course, just as I finish dissing on Varitek, he deposits one in the left field seats. 1-0, Sox. Seriously, I can't make this stuff up. Santana makes Ortiz look silly, strikes out Manny for the 2nd time, and then, with 2 outs, Varitek comes up and hits the first pitch he sees just over the fence in left-center.

Ataboy Quadzilla! Always knew you had it in you!