Blessed are the wealthy, for they will never be found in need.
Blessed are those in the majority, for they will get their way.
Blessed are the well-armed and powerful, because they will win the war.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for power, prestige, prominence, and position, because they will be on top at the end.
Blessed are the complainers, because by-golly they will get EXACTLY what they desire.
Blessed are the ones who wear the right sweater and the right shoes and drive the right car, because they have it all together.
Blessed are the ambitious, for they will go far.
Blessed are you when you have a good time and when the road is smooth and easy, because that is what life is all about.
(I give credit to Jason Ashlock for these. Don't know if he got them somewhere else, but I originally heard him present these in a Harding Chapel Talk)